Allah, the Exalted, stated in the Glorious Qur'an:
(... As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next,) refuse to share their beds, (and last,) beat them (lightly, if it is useful). But if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great.)
[4:34]
Islam forbids beating women and warns strictly against it. The Prophet (Peace be upon Him) never beat any of his wives or servants, as his wife Aishah (may Allah exalt their mention) reported in an authentic tradition (Bukhari #2328). Women are, in general, weaker than men in their physique and stamina. Women are often unable to defend themselves against violence. Although beating of women is generally forbidden, Islam permits the beating of wives in a restricted and limited sense only as a final solution and acceptable valid reason when all else fails. This is analogous to spanking children when all else fails and they must learn a lesson in obedience for their own protection and success.
In the verse we quoted, Allah deals with the case of a wife who behaves immorally towards her husband's rights. The treatment of this extremely sensitive issue comes in gradual stages, as we have noticed from the verse. Medicine, or treatment of any ailment, can be very bitter at times. But an ill person will take the remedy gladly and bear the bitterness of the medicine in order to be cured from his illness. The remedy to treat a wife blameworthy of immoral behavior, as we have noticed, comes in three gradual stages:
First stage: The stage of advice, counseling and warning against Allah's punishment. A husband must remind his wife of the importance of protecting his rights in Islam. This stage is a very kind and easy one. But, if this treatment does not work and proves to be ineffective, then the husband may resort to the next stage.
Second stage: To leave the wife's bed. Or, if one sleeps in the same bed with her, he will turn his back to her, not touch her, talk to her or have intercourse with her. This stage, as noticed, combines both strictness and kindness, although it is a very harsh practice on both. But, if this treatment does not work, then the husband may resort to the final stage of discipline explained below.
Third and final stage: Beating without hurting, breaking a bone, leaving black or blue marks on the body, and avoiding hitting the face or especially sensitive places at any cost. The purpose of beating her is only to discipline and never retaliation or with desire to hurt by any means. Islam forbids severe beating as punishment.
The Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said:
"None of you should beat his wife like a slave-beating and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day".
[Bukhari #4908]
This treatment is proved to be very effective with two types of women, as psychologists have determined:
The first type: Strong willed, demanding and commandeering women. These are the type of women who like to control, master and run the affairs of their husbands by pushing them around, commanding them and giving them orders.
The second type: Submissive or subdued women. These women may even enjoy being beaten at times as a sign of love and concern.
G. A. Holdfield, a European psychologist, in his book Psychology and Morals states the following:
"The instinct of submission strengthens at times, in the human being so much that a submissive person will enjoy seeing someone overpowering him, over-ruling him and being cruel to him. Such a submissive person bears the consequences of his submission due to the fact that he enjoys the pain. This is a wide spread instinct amongst women, even if they do not realize it. For this very reason, women are well known for bearing more pain than men. A wife, from this type of women, becomes more attracted and admiring of her husband when he beats her. Nothing, on the other hand, will sadden some women, as much as a soft, very kind and very obedient husband who is never upset regardless of being challenged!"
Beating, according to the Islamic teachings, is listed as the last and final stage of disciplining methods. Islam does not permit, allow or even condone beating unless the first two stages are proven to be ineffective. Moreover, beating must not be employed as a remedy, if a wife prefers to be divorced.
The three stages of discipline stated in the verse of the Glorious Qur'an are only meant to be a means of discipline for the protection of the family unit. One form of destruction of a family is when the wife becomes a victim of divorce. Islam aims to relieve unnecessary pains, problems and conflicts.
The practice of beating wives is in other non-Muslim societies is far more brutal and frequent. Wife beatings in theses societies are often with intent to inflict pain and harm to the wife; something strictly prohibited in Islam as mentioned previously. Recent statistics show that in Britain, the number of wives who have been brutally beaten by their husbands has risen from 6,400 in 1990 to 30,000 in 1992. This number jumped to 65,400 women in 1995. Statisticians expect this number to double 124,400 towards the end of the twentieth century! These statistics, as the report says, were based on information gathered from the police department. But, what about the unreported cases of wife beating, and the beating of women in general, which are not reported!
Mrs. Annie Besant compared Islamic Laws and Western legislation on women's rights and said:
"Islamic Laws are among the best laws known to the world, insofar as woman is concerned. It is the most fair and just legislation. It exceeds the Western legislation concerning real estate, inheritance and divorce laws. It acts as a guardian for women's rights. Phrases such as One Wife is Sufficient for a man, and Polygamy, mystified people and turned them away from the real misery which Western women suffer from and live through. Many husbands left their wives after they got what they wanted from them. In fact such men show no care, concern or mercy for their wives.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
On Hijab (Covering Head and Face)
On Hijab (Covering Head and Face
This issue has been sensationalized in the media, especially in some secular countries like France and Turkey which seek to make illegal the wearing of the Muslim headscarf or face veil in public places. We will not delve into all the details of the issue but, given the information above and some additional information below, we will let the readers judge for themselves whether or not the modest clothing and covering of the beauty and adornments of women, mandated in Islamic scriptures, is only for her own honor and protection, or not.
Allah (The Almighty) says:
(O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (and/or veils) over their bodies. That is better that they should be known so as not to be annoyed and molested. Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.)
[33:59]
This verse clearly states that the reason the woman is obligated to cover herself is to distinguish her to be identified as a respectable Muslim lady, to avoid the annoying glances and glares of the men. As we all know, provocative clothing urges some men to make advances, and expose women to molestation. This may be encouraged and marketed in some societies, but not among the respectable faithful Muslims.
All protective measures should be taken to guard women from excess temptation, which are explained in Islamic jurisprudence. Some of them are related to the women's attire like loose fitting body wrapping, head covering, and according to the authentic interpretations of the scriptures of the Qur'an and Sunnah, the face veil.
Allah (The Almighty) also said:
(And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts and not display their adornment (and beauty), except that which appears thereof (ordinarily) and to draw their coverings over their chests and not display their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers, their brothers sons, their sisters sons, their women, that which their right hands possess (their slaves) or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stomp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornments. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers that you might succeed.)
[24:31]
This verse indicates those males who are categorized as "mahram," as mentioned above, and designates that men and women should lower their gazes in modesty, which is the best self-protection from natural temptations and mutual attractions that occur between the opposite sexes.
And Allah (The Almighty) says, indicating the provocative manners with which the women of pre-Islamic era used to walk about, and calling the believers to appropriate behavior and repentance:
(And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance, and establish regular prayers and give obligatory charity and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove impurity from you, O members of the family (of the Prophet), and to purify you with a thorough purification. And remember(O you the members of the Prophet's family, the Graces of your Lord), that which is recited in your houses of the Verses of Allah and Wisdom (i.e. Prophet's Sunnah ). Verily, Allah is Ever Most Courteous, Well-Acquainted with all things. Verily, the Muslims men and women, the believing men and women, the obedient men and women, the truthful men and women, the patient men and women, the humble men and women, the charitable men and women, the fasting men and the women, the chaste men and women, and the men and the women who remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues; Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise). It is not for a believing man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter, that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a clear error.)
[33:33-6]
We can see that Islamic regulations, although similar to many other cultures where modest dress and behavior is concerned, are yet unique to the highest standards of the Muslim identity of chastity, righteousness, and moral uprightness. Islam protects and safeguards the individuals and the society from awkward situations of unnecessary intermingling between marriageable males and females leading to natural temptations. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said in an authentic tradition:
"Verily for every religion there is a characteristic, and the characteristic of Islam is Haya`a (modesty, shyness, bashfulness)."
[Ibn Majah #4172 and verified
This issue has been sensationalized in the media, especially in some secular countries like France and Turkey which seek to make illegal the wearing of the Muslim headscarf or face veil in public places. We will not delve into all the details of the issue but, given the information above and some additional information below, we will let the readers judge for themselves whether or not the modest clothing and covering of the beauty and adornments of women, mandated in Islamic scriptures, is only for her own honor and protection, or not.
Allah (The Almighty) says:
(O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (and/or veils) over their bodies. That is better that they should be known so as not to be annoyed and molested. Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.)
[33:59]
This verse clearly states that the reason the woman is obligated to cover herself is to distinguish her to be identified as a respectable Muslim lady, to avoid the annoying glances and glares of the men. As we all know, provocative clothing urges some men to make advances, and expose women to molestation. This may be encouraged and marketed in some societies, but not among the respectable faithful Muslims.
All protective measures should be taken to guard women from excess temptation, which are explained in Islamic jurisprudence. Some of them are related to the women's attire like loose fitting body wrapping, head covering, and according to the authentic interpretations of the scriptures of the Qur'an and Sunnah, the face veil.
Allah (The Almighty) also said:
(And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts and not display their adornment (and beauty), except that which appears thereof (ordinarily) and to draw their coverings over their chests and not display their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers, their brothers sons, their sisters sons, their women, that which their right hands possess (their slaves) or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stomp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornments. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers that you might succeed.)
[24:31]
This verse indicates those males who are categorized as "mahram," as mentioned above, and designates that men and women should lower their gazes in modesty, which is the best self-protection from natural temptations and mutual attractions that occur between the opposite sexes.
And Allah (The Almighty) says, indicating the provocative manners with which the women of pre-Islamic era used to walk about, and calling the believers to appropriate behavior and repentance:
(And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance, and establish regular prayers and give obligatory charity and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove impurity from you, O members of the family (of the Prophet), and to purify you with a thorough purification. And remember(O you the members of the Prophet's family, the Graces of your Lord), that which is recited in your houses of the Verses of Allah and Wisdom (i.e. Prophet's Sunnah ). Verily, Allah is Ever Most Courteous, Well-Acquainted with all things. Verily, the Muslims men and women, the believing men and women, the obedient men and women, the truthful men and women, the patient men and women, the humble men and women, the charitable men and women, the fasting men and the women, the chaste men and women, and the men and the women who remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues; Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise). It is not for a believing man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter, that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a clear error.)
[33:33-6]
We can see that Islamic regulations, although similar to many other cultures where modest dress and behavior is concerned, are yet unique to the highest standards of the Muslim identity of chastity, righteousness, and moral uprightness. Islam protects and safeguards the individuals and the society from awkward situations of unnecessary intermingling between marriageable males and females leading to natural temptations. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said in an authentic tradition:
"Verily for every religion there is a characteristic, and the characteristic of Islam is Haya`a (modesty, shyness, bashfulness)."
[Ibn Majah #4172 and verified
Power of Guardianship in the Marriage Contract
Power of Guardianship in the Marriage Contract
In Islamic jurisprudence one requirement for a sound marriage is the total agreement of the woman concerned.
The Prophet of Allah said (Peace be upon Him):
An "ayyim" (a divorcee or a widow) must not be wedded unless she is asked, and gives her approval. And a virgin must not be wedded unless she is consulted."
It was asked: "O messenger of Allah, How is her permission?"
He said: "If she remains silent."
[Bukhari #4843 & Muslim #1419]
If a woman is coerced into accepting an undesired marriage, she is entitled to present her case before a Muslim judge to seek annulment. A woman by the name of al-Khansa bint Khadam, who had been previously married (and was now divorced or widowed), came complaining to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) that her father had forced her to marry a person she despised. He disapproved and invalidated it.(Reported by Bukhari #6546)
Another requirement is that she does not give herself in marriage to anyone without guardianship. Her father, or in case he is not alive, her grandfather, paternal uncle, brother or even her mature son, or the ruler of the State, must act as her guardian in this affair to assure her rights are protected and to sign the marriage contract along with her signature. His role is to make sure that the groom is sincere and of standard, that she has a proper dowry, and that two witnesses testify to the contract which she willfully accepts. All these measures are to protect her rights and the sanctity of marriage.
The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) made this perfectly clear when he said:
"There is no marriage without a guardian."
[Abu Dawood #2058 & Tirmidhi #1101 and verified]
And in another version:
"There is no marriage without a guardian, and the ruler is the guardian for those who have no guardian." [Ahmad #2260 & Ibn Majah #1889 and verified ]
Therefore, if she elopes and marries herself, this marriage is considered unlawful, as the Prophet (Peace be upon Him) declared:
"Any woman who marries without the consent of her guardian, then her marriage is nullified, then her marriage is nullified, then her marriage is nullified, and if he has consummated the marriage then she must receive a dowry from him for what he has made lawful of her private parts, and if they fall into dispute then the ruler is the guardian for those who have no guardian."
[Abu Dawood #2083 & Tirmidhi #1102 and verified]
As mentioned above in the rights of daughters, whether a virgin or otherwise, the right of a woman is to accept or reject any marriage offer of her own free will. The institution of guardianship is only to protect her interests. The fact that the ruler or governor becomes her legal guardian to assure that all is in order and that no criminal injustice is perpetrated reinforces the sacredness of the marriage contract and the sanctity of her rights in Islam.
Since the woman remains in a position of natural weakness, Islamic jurisprudence lays down principles and laws to protect her interests and welfare and preserve her rights. The father, the mother and other concerned relatives, if need be, help select the right and most suitable husband for her, since all seek her happiness and none wish her to be victim of a failed marriage. The goal of marriage is to establish an everlasting relationship between a male and a female and a loving and beneficial home for the children, not mere gratification of certain desires. Since women are, in general, more emotional than men and more easily affected and tempted with appearances rather than the deeper realities, Islamic jurisprudence gives the right to the guardian to refuse and reject proposals if the suitor is not deemed a sound and sincere match.
Male guardianship in this case is only natural given their role of authority and responsibility. Moreover, it cannot be denied that men, being of the same gender, have a better ability to perceive qualities of other men in certain areas, and are more capable of finding those characteristics of a man that suit his daughter or the woman under his responsibility of guardianship. Of course he seeks counsel of the wife and other concerned females in the process of selection of the bridegroom. If an appropriate man proposed for marriage and the guardian refused for no valid reason, then the guardianship can be contested in the court of law. The guardianship is then given to the nearest responsible male relative of the woman, or, in case she has no responsible male relatives, the Muslim Judge assumes guardianship.
In the final analysis, the true measurement of a suitable match in marriage is the statement of the Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him):
"If a person comes to you to propose a marriage and you are pleased with his religion and morals, then marry him. If you fail to do so, great affliction will take place on earth, and corruption will be widespread."
[Tirmidhi #1085 and verified ]
A man with a sound and good understanding of his Islamic commitment, with good moral standards will honor his wife and dignify her, and treat her justly with decency even if he does not love her.
In Islamic jurisprudence one requirement for a sound marriage is the total agreement of the woman concerned.
The Prophet of Allah said (Peace be upon Him):
An "ayyim" (a divorcee or a widow) must not be wedded unless she is asked, and gives her approval. And a virgin must not be wedded unless she is consulted."
It was asked: "O messenger of Allah, How is her permission?"
He said: "If she remains silent."
[Bukhari #4843 & Muslim #1419]
If a woman is coerced into accepting an undesired marriage, she is entitled to present her case before a Muslim judge to seek annulment. A woman by the name of al-Khansa bint Khadam, who had been previously married (and was now divorced or widowed), came complaining to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) that her father had forced her to marry a person she despised. He disapproved and invalidated it.(Reported by Bukhari #6546)
Another requirement is that she does not give herself in marriage to anyone without guardianship. Her father, or in case he is not alive, her grandfather, paternal uncle, brother or even her mature son, or the ruler of the State, must act as her guardian in this affair to assure her rights are protected and to sign the marriage contract along with her signature. His role is to make sure that the groom is sincere and of standard, that she has a proper dowry, and that two witnesses testify to the contract which she willfully accepts. All these measures are to protect her rights and the sanctity of marriage.
The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) made this perfectly clear when he said:
"There is no marriage without a guardian."
[Abu Dawood #2058 & Tirmidhi #1101 and verified]
And in another version:
"There is no marriage without a guardian, and the ruler is the guardian for those who have no guardian." [Ahmad #2260 & Ibn Majah #1889 and verified ]
Therefore, if she elopes and marries herself, this marriage is considered unlawful, as the Prophet (Peace be upon Him) declared:
"Any woman who marries without the consent of her guardian, then her marriage is nullified, then her marriage is nullified, then her marriage is nullified, and if he has consummated the marriage then she must receive a dowry from him for what he has made lawful of her private parts, and if they fall into dispute then the ruler is the guardian for those who have no guardian."
[Abu Dawood #2083 & Tirmidhi #1102 and verified]
As mentioned above in the rights of daughters, whether a virgin or otherwise, the right of a woman is to accept or reject any marriage offer of her own free will. The institution of guardianship is only to protect her interests. The fact that the ruler or governor becomes her legal guardian to assure that all is in order and that no criminal injustice is perpetrated reinforces the sacredness of the marriage contract and the sanctity of her rights in Islam.
Since the woman remains in a position of natural weakness, Islamic jurisprudence lays down principles and laws to protect her interests and welfare and preserve her rights. The father, the mother and other concerned relatives, if need be, help select the right and most suitable husband for her, since all seek her happiness and none wish her to be victim of a failed marriage. The goal of marriage is to establish an everlasting relationship between a male and a female and a loving and beneficial home for the children, not mere gratification of certain desires. Since women are, in general, more emotional than men and more easily affected and tempted with appearances rather than the deeper realities, Islamic jurisprudence gives the right to the guardian to refuse and reject proposals if the suitor is not deemed a sound and sincere match.
Male guardianship in this case is only natural given their role of authority and responsibility. Moreover, it cannot be denied that men, being of the same gender, have a better ability to perceive qualities of other men in certain areas, and are more capable of finding those characteristics of a man that suit his daughter or the woman under his responsibility of guardianship. Of course he seeks counsel of the wife and other concerned females in the process of selection of the bridegroom. If an appropriate man proposed for marriage and the guardian refused for no valid reason, then the guardianship can be contested in the court of law. The guardianship is then given to the nearest responsible male relative of the woman, or, in case she has no responsible male relatives, the Muslim Judge assumes guardianship.
In the final analysis, the true measurement of a suitable match in marriage is the statement of the Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him):
"If a person comes to you to propose a marriage and you are pleased with his religion and morals, then marry him. If you fail to do so, great affliction will take place on earth, and corruption will be widespread."
[Tirmidhi #1085 and verified ]
A man with a sound and good understanding of his Islamic commitment, with good moral standards will honor his wife and dignify her, and treat her justly with decency even if he does not love her.
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